“I watched someone get interrupted in a group project meeting. By the third time, she just kept talking. Didn’t raise her voice. Didn’t acknowledge it. Just... continued. Everyone got quiet. That’s when it clicked - we teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate. Works at 21. Works at 52.”

“The people I can’t stop thinking about? They’re never the ones trying to impress me, but they’re the ones who seem genuinely unbothered by whether I’m impressed or not. There’s something almost annoying about it. I keep studying them. I think that’s called presence.”

“I’ve met people with nothing who walk into a room as if they own it. And people with everything who shrink into corners. That’s when I realized that presence isn’t something you earn with time or success. It’s a decision. You either decided you matter or you didn’t.”

“I got called ‘too much’ once, so I spent a long time trying to be the opposite. Less loud, less intense, less... me. Then I watched someone who was unapologetically ‘too much’ become the most sought-after person in the room. The people who call you ‘too much’ are just telling you they’re not your people.”

“I used to script what I’d say and practice the clever lines before anything. Now I try the opposite and go in with nothing. Simply listening. The right words show up when you’re not rehearsing or performing. I wish I tried this at 15, but it took me 22 years to try this. ”

“I noticed something at a friend’s place last week. She apologized for her apartment three times. Her cooking twice. Her outfit once. By the end of the night, I noticed the apartment was small, but I hadn’t noticed before she said it. Self-deprecation doesn’t make people like you more. It just hands them a lens.”

“Someone told me I’m ‘exactly’ the same in person as ‘online.’ I did not know what to do with that, but now I think it might be the highest compliment. Most people are two different people. The integration is the work. Whether you’re 20 or 60, that work never stops.”

“I’ve been practicing something small. Not explaining myself. Not in a rude way. Just... not. ‘No’ as a complete sentence. ‘I don’t want to’ as a valid reason. The freedom on the other side is wild. I wish someone had told me this was allowed.”